Fable One-shot Numero Uno!
by schmeschma
Summary: In this one shot, Blade, Forge, Ben, and Reaver learn the joys of strip poker. Rated T for suggestive material. The cover picture is by mapchild on deviantart (in other words; I do not take credit for it).


"Blade," Forge said, one day to his redheaded partner in crime. "Remind me again what we're doing here?"

"We're establishing our relationship," Blade answered.

"I mean, here particularly," Forge asked, cupping his fingers around his poker chips and gently dropping them, one at a time.

"Oh, uh, gambling," Blade examined the cards in her hand.

"Aw, dang it, I hate gambling!" said Forge.

"Pair of kings, ace high," Blade said, showing her hand.

"Tsk tsk," replied Forge, shaking his head. "Straight. Hm..." Forge scanned the girl. "Off with your crown," he said after a moment.

Blade carefully lifted the symbol of authority off her own head and placed it on Forge's at a tilt.

"Your turn to deal," she said, collecting the stray cards and handing them to Forge, who was already shuffling the deck.

After distributing the cards, paying the blinds, and checking their first turn, a two of spades was added to the pot.

Blade tried to hide her excitement.

"Bet," she said.

"You're on," Forge raised an eyebrow.

"Fifty," she put five chips to the pot.

"Raise to sixty," Forge challenged.

Blade added an extra chip to the previous pot, as Forge dropped his own bet into the pot.

"The pot's right," Forge said, examining the middle. He revealed the next card: the Jack of diamonds.

"Your call?" Forge said, eyeing Blade.

"Check," she replied.

"Check," echoed Forge.

The next card, the ace of clubs, made both Blade and Forge giddy.

"Bet," said Blade. "Twenty." She added two chips to the pot.

"And a bottle of wine," Forge winked, adding his own chips to the pot.

"I'm holding you to that," Blade grinned at him.

The last card was the queen of hearts.

"3 of a kind," Blade showed her hand, "ace high."

"Damn," replied Forge. "Nada."

Blade burst into laughter. "Really? You seemed so confident."

"That's poker, baby. What will it be?"

Blade studied Forge carefully, considering her options.

"Undo the top button of your shirt," she said with a smile.

A couple more games later, Blade was missing her left boot and Forge's shirt was entirely unbuttoned. At some point, Reaver joined in, after walking into a fairly disturbing scene of Forge pulling Blade's shoe off. After the scandalous display, Reaver exclaimed "ankles!" and demanded to be dealt in.

"I guess that makes you dealer and it's my turn first," Forge said, handing the deviant the deck of cards.

"Blinds raised, as well," he added as Reaver distributed the cards.

Reaver asked, "How much?"

"Twenty to me and thirty to you and Blade."

Reaver and Blade groaned, simultaneously.

"Cough it up," Forge grinned.

"Easy for you to say, cheapskate," Blade grumbled, paying her blinds.

"Pot's right," said Reaver after the blinds were paid. He revealed the next card: the king of clubs.

"Forge?" Blade glanced at the blacksmith.

"Yeah, yeah." He took a minute to contemplate his move. "Check," he said.

"Check," said Blade.

The pair looked at Reaver.

"Fold," he said.

"You're giving up already?!" asked Blade.

"I don't have a good hand!" Reaver tried to defend himself.

"You haven't even seen the pot!" said Forge.

"Just for being a quitter, you owe me the shirt off your back!" ordered Blade.

"Impatient, is we?" Reaver arched an eyebrow at her.

"And Forge, you owe me the wine you bet, a while ago."

"Aw, come on!"

"Would you mind fetching some? That sounds good right now."

Forge glared at Reaver and said, "touch Blade and I'll strangle you."

Reaver shrugged.

"That's the closest you'll get to a no from Reaver," Blade chimed in.

"Who says it was a no?" Reaver asked.

"Exactly," Forge sighed and walked out of the room.

"Now about my shirt," Reaver said.

"What about it?" Blade glared at him.

"I have a proposition. My shirt comes off in a way I'm sure we'll both be satisfied with."

"Explain," Blade's scowl hardened.

"You take it off," Reaver smiled.

Blade's expression softened, but she frowned nonetheless. She considered strangling the thief, however she realized how Albion would interpret the action. Not to mention the disappointment on Forge's face that he didn't kill the deviant.

Blade strode toward him and sat on his lap, while chuckling and shaking her head.

"Off with your shirt, Playboy," she said.

It was then -while Reaver was peeling his shirt off and Blade was sitting on his lap- that Ben walked in.

"Bla-" he began, staring at the pair. For a moment, he was speechless. Finally he grinned and opened his mouth, "oh, I see where this is going!"

"No means no," Blade said, quickly standing up and returning to her cards.

"Aw, jipped," Ben frowned. "Whatcha guys doing?"

"Strip poker," Blade said. "Wanna join?"

"Hell yeah!" Ben said, taking a seat between Reaver and Blade.

"Forge is off in search of wine," Blade said, reading the confusion on Ben's face.

"Ah," he said.

"Who's winning?" Ben asked.

"Great question," Blade said. "I do believe Reaver's losing."

"Already?!" Reaver cried.

"You folded," Blade shrugged.

"I didn't know that was the cost!?" Reaver said.

Ben grinned. "This sounds interesting already."

A couple games later, Ben was pantless, Reaver had given up his infamous top hat and was shorter by a foot, and Blade was missing yet another shoe. Forge finally returned with a bottle of wine, but when he noticed the extra player, he began wondering if they'd have enough.

"It'll be fine," Blade assured him. "Forge, you're winning by default. I think it's about time you've paid up."

"Here's your wine," Forge replied, tossing the bottle into her hand. "Happy?"

"Hmm... Nope, you owe me an article of clothing as well."

"Anything in particular?" Forge asked.

"Str-ip."

Forge began removing his shirt, cautiously.

Blade wolf-whistled at him, which just made him blush.

"Shall we continue?" Ben asked.

Hours passed. One by one, each player surrendered their clothing articles. More players joined in and at one time, they had eleven people playing.

"Blade, you lost," Forge was saying. "You must appeal to our better nature."

"What better nature?" Blade retorted.

"Off with the bra! Off with the bra!" Reaver chanted.

"Blade, come on. Hand it over," Ben said.

Blade glared at them. Seeing as the room was full of men, Blade doubted she'd get any sympathy. Blade sighed, but began unbuckling her bra clasp. A variety of hoots, hollers, and catcalls followed the queen wiggling out of her bosom-holder. With an enormous amount of skill, she lifted the delicate out of her shirt. Unfortunately, a clasp backfired and struck Reaver in the eye.

"Aaah!" he cried, "revenge of the lingerie!"

Blade watched between the cracks of her fingers, mortified at the scene before her. After hitting Reaver, the underthings smacked Ben in the forehead, took out each one of her employees, and attacked Forge twice! By the time it simmered down, Blade was as red as the hair on her head.

"Imagine the headlines," Ben teased. "Women's bra bursts, eleven injured."

The comment hit Blade in a terribly funny way. She found herself doubled up with laughter. With the approval of the queen, some of the guards began to snicker as well. Reaver, Forge, and even Ben had been guffawing from the start -somewhere after Reaver's comment about lingerie.

By the end, most of the guards gave up. Reaver was left wearing the least amount of clothing, however he didn't seem to mind. This surprised the other players, for they had thought he was the most experienced gambler of them all. Forge was next; he still wore his trousers. Then Ben, who was wearing his unbuttoned shirt and his left boot. To the men's dismay, Blade walked away fully clothed, with the exception of her boots, her upper delicate, and her corset that she wore tightly around her button-up shirt. She left wearing her gauntlet, her trousers, and her white shirt, slightly unbuttoned and revealing more cleavage than Blade would have preferred.

"That was fun," she was saying, cheerfully. "We should do it again!"

Forge, Ben, and Reaver exchanged glances. "Noooo!" they yelled as Blade escaped with their abandoned clothing.

**A.N.: Hey, beloved readers! It's been a while since my last update; right now, I'm working on editing Blade for the umpteenth time. That should take me a while, but send feedback, because it's greatly appreciated. In order to improve Blade to perfection, I need to know what I can change to appeal to my readers! Also, this story in particular has quite a bit of quotes used that I need to credit sources to, so bear with me:**

**_"Remind me again what we're doing here" to "Aw, dang it, I hate gambling!" is from CodeMent episode one. Credit goes to the legendary purpleeyeswtf. I paraphrased this quote to make it relevant to my story, but I give the original source credit, anyway._**

**_Another purpleeyes quote used is "Oh, I see where this is going" from CodeMent episode five._**

**_"Woman's bra bursts, eleven injured" is a Johnny Depp quote I found on BrainyQuote._**


End file.
